make_it_work101 | Recent Entries

Flirting! We all do it, it seems natural and sometimes we do it when we are already in relationships. Before you stop reading and get freaked out, some people are very outgoing and it can be a problem in their relationship. I have dealt with this issue first hand!

When you are in a relationship you have to be able to recognize what is flirting and what isn't. Along with that who you are hanging out with. It isn't the best idea to hang out with the opposite sex by yourself. Along with that how you interact with other is important. I have a few rules. 1) always give the most attention to your partner, they will see you interact with others and if they feel less, they may become jealous or a trust issue may start 2) don't hangout/ talk to the opposite sex to much 3) put yourself in their shoes. Before you do an action think : would I be okay with my bf/gf doing this to me?

These few simple rules should have you off to a good start! I hope it helps and just remember it's okay to be social! You just have to make sure you aren't pushing it to far!

What is communication really mean? How do you know what to say, when, and how much. Each relationship is different ( I can't stress this enough in every blog) so each couple will have different ways to approach communication.

Don't stay to quiet! If you never talk you won't have a healthy relationship. If you can't communicate now what will happen days, months, years later when it is crucial. You need to find your voice. I always look at a situation and if its something I disagree I voice my opinion but I don't let it becoming to overbearing! You don't want your partner to feel suffocated by all of your opinions. You want a fair balance of you and your partner knowing where each other stand and leaving it at that.

On an ending not I do want to say that finding your voice will determine how compatible you are with someone. You need to know how the other person is and they need to know about you. Your opinions and beliefs make you who you are! Make sure you have open communication. With that being said , your partner will be more comfortable talking to you! It's a win win when you can openly discuss issues, beliefs, and problems etc.

One thing about relationships is that arguments will happen. No one is perfect and no two people are the same. We all make mistakes, and even more so we all have a way of thinking! With this being said I am going to share with you some things I have learned from personal relationships & some stats I have learned!

First off I would like to say that you can't have a discussion when you are angry & here is why. :
In an argument when your heart rate goes over 100 beats a minute, you are incapable of hearing what your partner is trying to tell you. This means you need to take the time to calm down before you try and hear your partner. This is key to a relationship.

Next is I have learned about 65% of issues that come up in a relationships don't have a right or a wrong answer. So many arguments that happen have more then one solution. With this being said each person is so convinced their way is the right way, when in reality either person is right!

Last but not least you can't have a healthy relationship without a few disagreements. If you never disagree then you don't have any communication skills. Any relationship will have their issues come up so make sure you are communicating!

How many times have you flipped a page in a magazine, turned on the TV, or heard a song degrading woman. With that being said how many times is it very obvious? Almost always the media is very harsh to woman. The media sees woman as sexual objects and nothing more. We are expected to be the "homemakers" yet we are exploited all the time! In this blog I really want everyone to see how the media goes about exploited woman. Both ads that I want to show have the same goal but a different way of portraying the stereotype!

First we have a burger king ad. The first thing you see is a girl with her mouth wide open with a 7"in sandwich in front of her. Just being blatant this refers to an oral innuendo immediately. What do people really think when they see this? Pretty sure it's not a sandwich from BK, it's more what this looks like. Next you read the print. "It'll blow your mind." REALLY. So you have a girl with her mouth wide open ready for this sandwich, and now it's going to blow your mind. But wait that isn't it... "Fill your desire for something long, juicy, and flame grilled with the new BK 7in." So now the ad is saying we desire this? It is disgusting how in depth this ad gets. Whoever came up with this ad, clearly a man, had balls. Seriously who puts this is front of a woman and has the audacity to say what we desire. Another slight thing, this is an ad for a cheap meal. When you really look at this ad it makes woman look easy and cheap!

Next we have a Calvin Klein ad. This ad is visually straight to the point (like most ads are). Once again the main focus is on the woman. To me this makes it look like she is the one who wanted to be a bit promiscuous. Instead of exposing the man, the woman is the one that is very open. She is also in very sexy clothing. This, again, points to the woman wanting to be the sexual one. To go even further, she is pulling on his underwear. It makes the woman look very desperate and not classy. C'mon who wouldn't look at this and be pissed. Any girl I know, if they took the time to look at what this means, would feel degraded. No woman wants to look desperate and easy!

So you can see that woman are viewed as easy and trashy in today's society. The way I see it woman are inferior and the men are the ones with all the power and class. I know a lot of woman, if they took the time to look at these ads carefully, would be disgusted and angry. Woman are not sexual objects and the stereotype needs to stop being portrayed. Woman shouldn't have to be looked at the way they are because society wants to attract men to whatever the company is selling.

What if a break up does happen. Stop before you start thinking of all of the what if, I should've, ect. Sometimes breakups are inevitable. The main thing is when things don't workout how do move on and learn from the relationship?

First thing is first. Realize what went wrong. So many relationships have different situations. If you had any fault the first thing you can do is be truthful. You know the truth about the situation so apologize (if needed) and forgive yourself. You can't blame yourself forever. If it is a situation where you were not at fault you have to (at some point) to forgive the other person. Forgiveness and acceptence is the first step of "the grieving process" of loosing a relationship.

Next thing you need to do is reflect. What did go wrong? Was it you? Was it the other person? Did the two of you just not go well together? Ask yourself all of these questions so that you can reflect on what happened. This step is also very important. If you reflect and are honest with yourself your likely to have a better outcome with your next relationship!

Last but not least. Don't move on if you arn't ready. The worse thing you can do is go through a breakup and try to date to soon. Everyone has a different time that they can try again. Everything comes down to time, circumstances, and healing. If you still arn't over it the WORSE thing you can do is drag someone else into the mess.

I really hope this advice helps & remember honesty is always the best policy, even if a breakup happens! & here is a variety of music that relates to breakups :) enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f0T3WAbU6tg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t8FizVKazkg
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VMFdpdDYYA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-fWDrZSiZs
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPWdhF-MPDM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wO3xGxHqV8

Today I really want to talk about how important compromise is in a relationship. Compromise is a huge deal in a relationship because it allows each person to be independent and still be them. If you don't compromise one of two things will happen. You will either end up breaking up, or you will change who you really are just to please someone. Neither of those options sound to good, do they? That is why you can't sweat the small stuff! If you compromise with each other you will be able to have a healthy relationship and let go of the things that really don't matter. Compromise is what allows you to be yourselves in the relationship but still be aware of what the other person's wants / needs are.

One thing I do want to say is don't use compromise to lightly or to harshly. What I mean by this is you have to find a balance. If you find yourself always having to let your partner "have it their way" then it is becoming more than just compromise. Same goes for the other way, if you never let your partner speak their mind and do things their way then you probably are not the best match for each other. If you really are a good match and want it to work you have to make the effort to figure out what is best to let go and compromise, and what is crucial to you to not compromise on!

I really hope this helps & remember every relationship is different! You have to find what is best for you and your partner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcItCEeKVdk

Ever read an article or a piece of writing about something that you’re very passionate about and you feel like that person knows exactly how to give advice on that topic? That’s exactly how I feel when I read Dr. Phil’s articles. On article in particular really caught my attention. I feel like he really knows how to get his point across by using rhetorical tools.

The first thing I noticed that he did was he used short paragraphs. He chose an overall topic and used short paragraphs for subtopics. I felt like his style of writing this article made it very easy to read. I also liked the article because it was very easy to follow along.

The next thing I really liked was how firm he was in his article. What I mean by that is he doesn’t say things like “I think.” What that does to me, the reader, is it makes me confident in his advice. Throughout the article his statements are very clear and right to the point. An example of this is when he is talking about friendship. He made a statement that started off with “you have to” which shows me he knows what to advise and how to advise it.

The next thing I noticed was, he used a very serious tone. I liked this a lot because it made it easy for me to take him seriously. When I go and read something and I want to take legit advice from it I want the author to be serious. It’s very important to me that when I read about relationship advice I want the author to make his words sound serious and look serious. Since my intentions, when reading an article about relationship advice, are to get good advice on the topic I’m researching I want the author to be genuine and have a serious tone about it.

The next thing I noticed was he used a lot of god words. Words like: positive, believe, tolerance, proactive, and spirit. Using a lot of god words makes the article have a positive outlook on the subject. Since I want advice on my relationship I want to feel good about what I’m reading. Even though there are many problems that can happen with relationships I really like that he had a way of putting everything in a way that made me feel like there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

After reading what Dr. Phil had to say I feel like I had even more reason to keep reading his articles. I found a lot of good things in his writing and I took a lot out of it. While writing my blog and giving my readers as much advice as possible I will refer them to Dr. Phil. He is very good at what he does and he has a lot to say on my topic!

Here's the link to the article! Enjoy :)
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/81

Have you ever met someone for the first time and you're automatically attracted to them? Wether it's their personality, looks, beliefs, or all of the above you know you're crushing hard. Liking someone without really knowing them can be very exciting but very risky at the same time.

The thing I want to really stress in this blog is friendship. Even if you just met someone and you got right into dating you have to become best friends. When you start to develope a deep friendship you're taking your relationship to the next level. The reason friendship is very important is because you develope the essentials for the relationship. Think about your very best friend. What do you have with that person that you don't have with anyone else? I can tell you that if it's strong friendship then you have trust, fun, commitment to the friendship, and most of all love for that person. When you begin a relationship the best way to fire up your friendship is to find the things you both like to do. Spend a majority of your dates finding out the things you both like. This might sound like commonsense but I can tell you from personal expirence I was so worried about what the other person wanted to do I didn't speak up about my wants. It's very important to be openminded but outspoken at the same time. From day one a relationship is a 50/50 effort. The best thing you can do is speak your mind and let your partner speak their mind. Once you do this you will see how well you mesh with that person. If you both like each other enough you will find yourself becoming the best of friends with this person!

Too really get my blog started I want to share one of the first memories I had with Jake. The night we first met, formally, and the night we really clicked and I remember every single detail as if it were yesterday. When Jake and I had first met we had met through mutual friends. I had seen him a couple of times at various friends' houses but I wasn't really brave enough to actually go up and talk to him. The night that I actually had the nerve to talk to him was when he came through the Taco Bell drive thru.

It all started with Jake's friends Michael and Phil. On December 23, 2011 his friends had insisted on going to Taco Bell to get a late snack. It just so happens that I was working a 5-1 shift that night. I always hated closing shifts but this night was different. When the three of them came to the drive thru speaker they were being loud and annoying, and I thought to myself just more immature customers. To my surprise, they come up to the pay window and it was the three of them. Since I had known Jake's friend Michael for two years before hand he made it a note to introduce Jake and I via drive thru. As soon and he started talking I started blushing. I was so into our conversation when we really started talking I had him go through the drive thru multiple times so that our timer wouldn't go off (and that would mean I would have to stop talking to him). Eventually I mentioned that I was going to Wal-Mart after my shift to get Lynnay, my best friend, her stocking stuffer for Christmas. The three of them were so hyper they decided to wait until I got off work just to go with me. Once I got off work I hurried straight to Wal-Mart. (I would like to note that I usually dread going to Wal-Mart so the fact that I was thrilled, and it was 1 in the morning is a huge deal.) As soon as I met up with them I went to look for what I needed to get Lynnay. The whole time Jake was distracting me and being obnoxious. I remember feeling like I was in a movie. Here I was literally crushing on someone I didn't really know and I was willing to stay out as late as possible until we exchanged numbers. Finally, we gave each other our numbers, and I remember having all of these emotions of happiness and nervousness. I tried so hard to not smile all cheesy and act all corny but I couldn't help it. Every time Jake talked I caught myself laughing and being all weird. I'll never forget leaving Wal-Mart and just wanting to get a hug. Sadly, I didn't get the hug but what came after was so much better than just one hug.

I really love talking about meeting Jake and I think when people find someone their crazy about, no matter their personality, people get cheesy and excited. One of the best feelings in the world is having that crush that makes you feel a million things at once. I remember trying to keep my cool but it was so hard, and I failed miserably. I really want you guys to know that when you're into someone, no matter what your attitude is towards relationships, once you find someone to make you feel those things that person becomes irresistible! Hopefully my blog will make you realize how worth it a relationship can be, no matter what you think might get in the way!

Here's the perfect song to describe those feelings you get when you're around that person ;)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jEDdFm3Nx0&feature=related - Luke Bryan

Current Mood: ecstatic

Since I've been in my relationship the emotion that has taken over is excitement! Even though every relationship has it hard times, nothing can take away the joy of having someone to spend your time with.

There are many reasons why I chose excitement to describe my blog. The initial thought that went through my head was when you first meet the person. Wether you were friends beforehand or you literally just met and decided to starting dating, everyone has the first feeling of butterflies. When you first meet someone and you have that reaction you automatically know there is potential. The next reason I chose excitement is because once you have started actually dating the person and your learning more and more about them everything about them becomes intriquing. For example when Jake and I had first started dating my heart felt like it was literally working overtime. It's crazy how seeing someone, even when it's the very begining of a relationship, can make your whole body do weird things. I remember feeling so out of breath but being extremly happy at the same time. The next reason I chose this emotion was because once you have hit the "serious" mark, everything becomes more and more crucial. Everyone's definition of serious is different and I'm a very strong believer in the fact that everyone's relationships are completly different. No matter when your time frame is, once you have hit that serious mark you have a whole new type of excitement. I feel like once your at that stage where your relationship is more then just two people having a crush, you start to realize your relationship now has the potential to go really far. How scary and exciting is that? I think realizing that your relationship has reached the point of being bestfriends there is no way you can't get excited. Knowing you have someone to stick by you through everything and anything is a huge deal!

Last but not least I really want to share some of my favorite songs that I relate to my relationship. Depending on the type of person you are different things will make you think of that signifigant other. The first thing I go to is music! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q7Em4fUOrZo
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9qgFGkuDbc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-WCucYnED0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6cHaaUku1IA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpixdTlYlKU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2Cti12XBw4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ac3HkriqdGQ

Current Mood: excited

Before I actually start my blog and give all of my imput about relationships I would like to introduce someone who is very credible and good at what he does. Dr. Phil has a lot of good advice and a lot of tips and tricks for relationships. The first reason I really trust Dr. Phil is because he has been married for many years and has had his fair share of ups and downs in his relationship. I also really enjoy his style. He takes the time to listen to people and he puts himself in other's shoes. Dr. Phil also has had a very successful tv show where countless couples have went to him for help. Dr. Phil is also very good at making realistic goals for relationships. Every time he gives advice he listens to the couple's situation and gives advice on what would work best for them. Lastly, he has a very good strategy for dating etiquette.

Here are just a couple of articles that will help you get to know Dr.Phil's style a bit better! I really enjoy reading his articles and watching his show so I hope you will like it too!

http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/317
http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/529
http://drphil.com/articles/article/708/

Current Mood: curious

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make_it_work101

December 2012

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Page Summary

Flirting! (mini blog 7)
Communicating! (mini blog 5)
Did you know that... (mini blog 4)
Women are more then just sexual objects. (Visual paper)
What if a break up does happen (mini blog 10 )
Mini Blog 9 (compromise!)
Rhetorical analysis
Frienship mini blog 8
Another night at work (intro blog )
It's time to get overly excited! (mini blog 2)
Someone I look to for advice! (mini blog 3)

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